Facing the Hard Realities of Self (pt. 2): Defeat Your Present Self

You’re in the locker room waiting to face your opponent in a ‘fight to the death’ battle. You believe you are ready because you are the current champion. You fought many battles and have won them all. You’ve prepared yourself for what is now your greatest challenge. Even though you seem well prepared, something inside of you is terrified. Something is telling you to run while you still can because this opponent is ruthless, stronger, and overall unbeatable. You hear cheers in the gym where the battle is held – those cheers indicate the time has come. You stand up, walk out of the locker room into a hall that leads to the double doors. You look around and notice that you are alone and have to face this challenge on your own. You hear the announcer say your name and then the double doors open. You see the crowd and the ring ahead of you. You walk to the ring and enter through the red ropes. The announcer say a few things and you and your opponent walk closer to each other. Now here you are staring face to face with your opponent, your greatest challenge – Your present self.

A few weeks ago we were able to dig beneath the surface of facing the hard realities of self by evaluating our past. We had to dig up all of the hidden truths that were holding us back from progressing as individuals. By doing that we were able to learn some deep things about ourselves and face our past. Now that you have faced your past, it is time to face your present. This may be a little harder than the past as it will help show who you are currently and it may be difficult to admit and accept. Ready or not, here we go!

When we meet someone and have taken a liking to something about them, we are interested in getting to know them. But how is it that we are going to accomplish this? By asking questions and observing, right?…Right! We ask about their past, why? Because it played a part in who they are and the decisions they make today of course. We also observe them to see what makes them react to certain things, how they react, how they act, what they do…etcetera. Once you get to know this person you also get to know the beautiful and the ugly about them; the things you like and don’t like. Do you see where I’m going here? Okay, so this is the exact same thing as getting to know yourself. Sometimes it takes a little self observation to get to know  yourself. Once this happens, you may find that you are not who you thought you were and that you may not like some qualities that you have. You see the ugly part of you, which is not always easy.

Imagine being in that ring staring face to face with yourself. What do you see? What good qualities do you see in yourself? Go ahead and start naming them out loud…this is a good exercise for building self confidence.

Okay, now what ugly and/or bad qualities do you see in yourself? This is a harder task, right? Scary to say them out loud or even to think about them at all. I know. Look deep within yourself. Is it something that you do that you just became aware of or something that someone has said about you? What is it? Are you negative? Do you bring others down? Do you talk down at people? Do you always talk badly about people and say ugly things such as they are ugly physically? Do you have anger issues or are easily angered? Do you have an addiction (drugs, sex)? Are you selfish? Do you have a bad attitude? Are you a bitch or an asshole? Are you a liar? Arrogant? Mean? Mentally and/or physically abusive? Do you hurt people intentionally? Do you let people take advantage of you? Are you naive? Are you a bad mother or father? Do you party more than you take care of your children? Do you keep making the same mistakes? What are the qualities that you do not like about yourself? The first step is admitting that you are not perfect and facing those imperfections.

We all say that we are good people, but the truth is that all of us actually are not. Some of us are bad people in the eyes of others. If someone says we are a bad individual, try to figure out what made them think that instead of instantly writing it off and moving on. Also, just because we are good people does not mean we do not possess some bad qualities. We should put our effort into trying to fix those qualities about ourselves (you know, just like how we try to fix the bad qualities in our significant other mhmm). Start by asking what is it about yourself that you want to fix? This will help you face the hard realities of self.

Being in the ring with yourself is a challenge. The good part of you have to face the bad part of you. Being able to actually get in that ring is a sign of courage. You are already winning by being able to face yourself. In order to defeat those bad qualities you’ve identified within yourself, you have to change them and rid yourself of them. Think of ways to help you make that change for the better. This is a process that may take more than 7 or 8 rounds. If it takes the whole 12 rounds to knock-out your opponent, that is absolutely okay. In the end, the Win is much bigger than how much time you spent in the ring. Don’t ever be afraid to face yourself,  YOU WILL WIN!!

“Facing personal truths and purging yourself of addictions or manipulative habits require strength, courage, humility, faith, and other qualities of a soul with stamina, because you are not just changing yourself; you are changing your universe. Your soul is a compass. Change one coordinate in your spiritual compass and you change your entire life’s direction.” – Caroline Myss

Xo,

An imperfect woman.

 

 

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