Men and women both have certain elements to their being by their gender alone. Gender, or sex, plays a major role in relationships in the overall expectations of men and women. The factors come from things such as society, tradition and religion. An interesting analysis, though, is that much more is expected of a woman in a relationship than of a man…
Typically, a woman is required to: cook, clean, take care of the children (get ready for school, bathe, feed all 3 meals, change diapers if necessary, potty train, put to bed..ect.), teach the children, do the shopping, wash all the clothes, cater to her man, have sex whenever, make sure bills and rent are paid on time, stay fit by going to the gym or working out…the list goes on. In other words, she is expected to be the nanny, teacher, maid, servant and chef. In today’s society, she may also be required to have a job in addition to all of the above. Let’s just say she’s expected to be fuckin Superwoman! #Whatarole
Men, on the other hand, are expected to be one thing – the provider.
Don’t get me wrong, being the provider is a hell of a role that we women very much appreciate. We admire and cherish our providers because they keep the family stable. We love and value our men for that, which is why many of you guy’s expectations are met. As you’re providing, we want to take care of you and make things less stressful for you when you get home so we do things in the household so that you do not have to worry about it. Comprendes?…Comprendes!!
The (not so) interesting thing about this analysis is that when the roles are reversed, such as the woman being the provider for whatever reason (shit happens), most women do not require or expect the man to take on the responsibilities that she subdues as being a woman. Many men won’t because they’ll feel like less of a man instead of thinking about contributing to the household in some way. If you are not working, men, help out around the house to make it a little less stressful for your woman as she will do for you. Though not always expected of the non-working man, of course it would be nice to come home to a home-cooked meal and be catered to after a long day of work every now and then. Men, I’m sure you understand this logic.
What about when both man and woman are working? Should the woman still take on all of the other responsibilities? Or should things be divided? This is a real life question that I’m interested in knowing the answer to.
I know many women who worked for a while and are now taking on the role of the “housewife”. They say that the role is much more difficult because its a job that is 24 hours and it goes and goes and…well…goes. It’s none stop and requires so much energy. Dealing with constant crying and whining, having to chase after the kids, and trying to get them to listen by yelling and repeating yourself can be very physically and mentally exhausting. I can personally say that taking on the role as a “housewife” is much more challenging than working a 9 to 5. Beautiful thing though to be able to watch your kids grow and be there every step of the way, at the same time it does weigh on you. I don’t think many people understand that, especially men because they don’t do what we do or what we’re expected to do.
For a period I was working a full time job, I was a full time college student who had to write 8-12 page papers EVERY week, and had a toddler and family to take care of while at home. It was overwhelming at times, but I did it with little complaint. This is the life of many women today, and most men wouldn’t even last a week…*Kanye shrugs* I’m just saying.
Though not actually expected, the woman of the house is in a position where she is required to put everyone and their needs above her own. When she cooks, for instance, she has to make plates and serve everyone before herself. Sometimes she may even forget to do things for herself because she is too busy doing for others. Or maybe she is just constantly going that she doesn’t even have time to do for herself. I know a woman who woke up at 3 am to make breakfast and pack a lunch for her man who had to be to work at 4 am. She said she had a hard time going back to sleep and when she finally did it was 6 am. The kids woke up a little before 9 am and so she got up and made them breakfast. She then put them in the bath and got them dressed. She then did her daily work-out and after she cleaned up the house. She did some running around the house with the kids as they are very active toddlers. When she finally set down to eat, the kids came for her food. So she ate a couple bites and just gave it to them. After her man got off work they went grocery shopping. By the time they got back home it was close to 3 pm. She started putting the food away and her man said he was hungry (for the 3rd time). She said she will make him food as soon as she finished sorting the meat so she can put it in the freezer before it went bad. He wasn’t too happy about that so she stopped what she was doing and made his food, along with food for the kids. Little did he know, she was hungry as well and hadn’t eaten anything all day but a few bites of cereal. As she was making their food she was actually shaking from using so much energy that day and not eating. She could have passed out trying to take care of everyone else before herself. Things such as this happen on multiple occasions to many women who has a family. And these things go unspoken and are underappreciated at times.
And what about other expectations outside of the home? Man! Don’t get me started lol. All I’ll say now is that there are a lot of double standards, right ladies? Right! But I’ll speak on that topic another week (stay tuned).
For now, I just want to take the time to show my appreciation to women all around the world who have families where expectations may seem too high. Being a woman is a hell of a role and it is not always as easy as we make it look. Even though those around us have high expectations of us, we manage to somehow get through them all. We take on so much more than people realize and yet we still smile. We are phenomenal beings! Men, understand and appreciate your phenomenal woman. Tomorrow, buy her some flowers or do something nice for her just because of her title as a woman and the things that she does. Let her have some “me time” because she probably never really gets it. She deserves the good that she does for you as you deserve it.
Oh, and women, don’t ever stop being you – the amazing woman that you are.